Only Happy When it Rains? Garbage!

I remember the first time I ever heard that the human body was made almost entirely of water. I was in 5th-grade science and we were covering biology. We had recently finished our study of photosynthesis and the concept of plant cells, which seemed pretty bogus too, in my opinion. Then our teacher said something crazy, she claimed that the body consisted of over 60% water. Water?! I couldn’t believe it.

I still don’t believe it. To this day, I am convinced that it’s a conspiracy formed by the clouds so they can just keep raining down on us.

Pretty sure the umbrella industry has something to do it with it too, but there hasn’t been any solid proof on that one yet.

You’ll die within three days of not drinking water? Hogwash.

The only good thing that’s come out of water is beer. I try to not even take showers because that’s a by-product of the cloud industry complex, and do we really even need to smell like flowers when we’re human beings who should smell like the mammals that we are?

Or maybe we aren’t mammals, but that’s a conspiracy for another day.


I mean, just look at that? Is that something you really think is INSIDE of you?