Laurel.

Yanny.

It’s just a way to get into your brain, kids.

The crowds of people all over the internet are yet again fighting over something that seems rather trivial. This time around it is not the color of a dress (that dress was white and gold, you fuckers), but instead, the trivial debate is all about what a person hears.

In this short sound bite, a person can supposedly hear either the word Laurel or the word Yanny. People are getting real heated up about which is true.

The truth of the matter is that they are both true. Depending on your ears and your bass you will hear one or the other. That’s not the actual issue.

The issue is that anyone who listens to this sound bite immediately becomes brainwashed by the Cloud Industrial Complex or the Illuminati or the Lizard People.

We’re not quite sure which power group has control over this mind control but we KNOW it’s not just a bit of trivial internet buzz. This short sound bite could have major repercussions on our entire planet.

If you’ve listened to it, you’re already fucked. Soon your brain will start deteriorating and you will somehow find your way back to the internet where you will let everyone else know whether you heard Laurel or Yanny, as if anyone else gives a fuck.

If you heard Laurel, you’re fucked.

If you heard Yanny, you’re fucked.

Because guess what?!!? It was all just a set up to fuck you.

Congrats for being the millionth person to turn into yet another internet robot cyborg sheep zombie. You’re not part of the Cloud Industrial Complex Illuminati Lizard People, oh no, they’d never let you in. Nope, instead they are inside YOU and are controlling your every thought, move, desire, need, want, etc.

It’s okay in a way, because now you can blame all of your actions and mistakes on the Cloud Industrial Complex Illuminati Lizard People. They’ll never forgive you like Jesus would though, just remember that. Amen.