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Laurel or Yanny? Either Way, It’s a Trap!

Laurel.

Yanny.

It’s just a way to get into your brain, kids.

The crowds of people all over the internet are yet again fighting over something that seems rather trivial. This time around it is not the color of a dress (that dress was white and gold, you fuckers), but instead, the trivial debate is all about what a person hears.

In this short sound bite, a person can supposedly hear either the word Laurel or the word Yanny. People are getting real heated up about which is true.

The truth of the matter is that they are both true. Depending on your ears and your bass you will hear one or the other. That’s not the actual issue.

The issue is that anyone who listens to this sound bite immediately becomes brainwashed by the Cloud Industrial Complex or the Illuminati or the Lizard People.

We’re not quite sure which power group has control over this mind control but we KNOW it’s not just a bit of trivial internet buzz. This short sound bite could have major repercussions on our entire planet.

If you’ve listened to it, you’re already fucked. Soon your brain will start deteriorating and you will somehow find your way back to the internet where you will let everyone else know whether you heard Laurel or Yanny, as if anyone else gives a fuck.

If you heard Laurel, you’re fucked.

If you heard Yanny, you’re fucked.

Because guess what?!!? It was all just a set up to fuck you.

Congrats for being the millionth person to turn into yet another internet robot cyborg sheep zombie. You’re not part of the Cloud Industrial Complex Illuminati Lizard People, oh no, they’d never let you in. Nope, instead they are inside YOU and are controlling your every thought, move, desire, need, want, etc.

It’s okay in a way, because now you can blame all of your actions and mistakes on the Cloud Industrial Complex Illuminati Lizard People. They’ll never forgive you like Jesus would though, just remember that. Amen.

Kanye West Wears MAGA Hat As Part of Initiation into The Illuminati

Kanye West Attempts to Make America Great Again Just to Get Into Secret Society

Kanye West is back at it again and people are horrified.

maga hat is fire
This hat is proof that the Illuminati loves fucking with people

Recently West was caught sporting a Make America Great Again hat. MAGA is the infamous slogan from the Trump campaign that has been gracing the front of bright red trucker hats for a couple of years now. West said on his twitter:

“You don’t have to agree with trump but the mob can’t make me not love him. We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone. I don’t agree with everything anyone does. That’s what makes us individuals. And we have the right to independent thought.”

Theories are blasting in across the internet. People are losing their shit. Some theorist claim West is doing this for publicity. Some claim he’s just a narcissistic sociopath, but here at What the Conspiracy we KNOW that even if both of those things are true, there’s a bigger truth out there.

Kanye West is in his final initiation in an attempt to join forces with the Illuminati.

If you’re unfamiliar the Illuminati is a “secret society” (that everyone knows about), a society that claims to have the actual control over our planet.

As any real conspiracy theorist knows the Illuminati is just a smokescreen for the REAL social orders that run our Earth.

Why Kanye is SO obsessed with becoming a part of it is beyond anyone here at WTC’s knowledge base.

Yet. It’s clear that he’s been trying WAY too hard for WAY too long. Remember that whole Taylor Swift thing? That was part of the Illuminati initiation test. And marrying a Kardashian? Also part of it.

He has hundreds of tweets that go on and on about loving each other.

love conquers fear west tweets
Love is the most powerful force in the universe?

Could it be that he’s trying to get the world to get along by becoming the scapegoat? The most hated black man alive? And all because he admits to being alright with Donald Trump; a xenophobic homophobic sexist racist white-power lizard-person who happens to be the president of the United States of America?

Could West be saying that we should love our enemies?

If the Illuminati can love the hollow-earth lizard-people shouldn’t we as humans be able to get along a little bit better?

OR

Kanye West is a lizard-person too. He does admit to possessing dragon energy. And we all know lizard people are cousins with dragons.

Here at What the Conspiracy we find the Illuminati’s initiation game to be quite the entertaining show. They really know how to torture a guy. They are basically like frat bros but for the whole earth, not just some stupid college.

One of the best parts about this whole storyline is that the Illuminati let so many other people in so fast, but not Kanye. No, for some reason they just LOVE to see him act out. It’s like, he’s their little puppet and they’re making him do all sorts of fucked up shit just because they’re bored.

We love that you’re preaching the love Kanye, but red trucker hats aren’t really your best style. Also. Most people don’t get the nuances or concept of “loving thy neighbor,” (particularly when it comes to loving someone who only loves himself and literally HATES everyone and everything else).

But perhaps that’s why you show your love to the Trump. You recognize a part of yourself in him; that is what most religions from this planet try to get their constituents to do and you’ve done it, even if its caused everyone else to hate you.

Maybe the Illuminati will finally let you in after all.

But probably not. They’re pretty big dickfaces and want to make sure you’re going to be one too (you are well on your way though, we’ll give you that).

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What The Conspiracy Needs Your Help! Save The Real Fake News

Help The Real Fake News Continue

A few months ago I quit my corporate “mindful” job to focus my time on investigating the real fake news. I’ve had plenty of adventures along the way. Like, being swept up in a tornado by the Cloud Industrial Complex or discovering Tom Brady is actually an inner earth alien and exposing the real fake truth to the world.

That’s the thing. I’m here to get you the news you didn’t even know was news. The news so fake you couldn’t even think that someone had the ability to come up with this stuff. But they did. Because they’re weird. And the only thing they’re really good at is being weird and making fun of stuff.

But What the Conspiracy?! needs your help. The person who researches and reveals all the conspiracies (aka me) needs money to continue doing such things.

What will the money be used for?

  1. Upgrade The Website to be SEO Friendly ($200 a year)
  2. Market the Website to Like-minded Individuals ($1,000,000,000 aka As much as I can get)
  3. Upgrade video and editing equipment ($3,000+)

What are What the Conspiracy?!’s goals?

  • To get the REAL FAKE NEWS out to as many people as possible
  • To publish at least one new story + video a week
  • To continue digging deeper into the real fake truth
  • To see an alien at least once
  • To get the real illuminati to stand up
  • To be The Onion of Conspiracy Theories

Yes. I know many of you think that someone writing the real fake news on the internet probably lives in his basement with his mommy. But, the only truth that is the actual truth on What the Conspiracy is that I am actually a woman, a woman with two boobs. And I live in a house. With roommates (who also have boobs). I want to continue living in this house with my two boobs and my two roommates with boobs and not have to turn into a fat turd of a dude and move into my parent’s basement. So please, if you want to see the real fake news continue, donate to the cause today.

Check out my Go Fund Me By CLICKING HERE!

Send Donations through Venmo @Krystal-Fawn
Send Me $$$ Through Paypal krystal.baugher@gmail.com

go_fund_me_WTC

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Follow WTC?! on Facebook

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What the Conspiracy?! Is THE Conspiracy

 

Conspiracy! What is real, for real though?

Could this website, What the Conspiracy?!, a website dedicated to exposing the TRUTH about our society and all of the FAKE NEWS in it, actually be THE FAKE NEWS?

In a recent turn of events the founder of What the Conspiracy is seriously starting to question if all of the thoughts, research, and discoveries on this website have actually just been made up the entire time.

Even though there have been hours upon hours of investigations and brain power that has gone into the discovery of such things like The Cloud Industrial Complex (which we are no longer allowed to discuss), political conspiracy theories like the government shut down just existing as a distraction from the truth and United States of America current President Donald Trump’s hair actually being an alien all on its own, as well as holiday conspiracy theories such as Valentine’s Day being an invention of Big Pharma, no one here is really sure anymore what’s real and what’s not real.

What is real? What the Conspiracy knows that conspiracies are really just opinions that have not been made popular yet.

The Flat Earthers are popular enough by this point to make everyone else suggest they all go walk off the edge of it. The Illuminati is popular enough that Google always knows when we spell it wrong and automatically corrects it. It’s probably the Illuminati that runs google anyway. That’s a conspiracy theory that the staff at What the Conspiracy has yet to look into, but probably should. Except, the staff at What the Conspiracy is going through a sort of existential crisis and no one here knows who they are anymore.

what_the_conspiracy33

Could the staff at What the Conspiracy have been brainwashed by some sort of powerful alien species? Perhaps these aliens came in and whispered “self-doubt” into the What the Conspiracy staff members ears and now everyone here is confused and can’t tell the TRUTH from the LIES.

We have already had our run-ins with conspiracy theory issues in the past. Like the time when the founder of What the Conspiracy was abducted for almost an entire year by members of the Cloud Industrial Complex and thrown into that tornado only to make it out with a warning never to discuss the true facts about the clouds, the water, the ice and everything connected to it all ever again.

We’re technically not even supposed to write “The Cloud Industrial Complex,” on this website anymore, but since we’re not actually writing about what they do and we’re not even saying they exist (even though they clearly do, considering) and we really are just writing the words, ‘The Cloud Industrial Complex,’ we really do not think anyone at What the Conspiracy will get hurt again.

Unless this is all just a set up by whichever alien species came into our office and brainwashed us into writing this article about What the Conspiracy not even being real.

The truth of the matter is that there is no ‘office,’ and the ‘we’ that ‘we’ always speak of here at What the Conspiracy is just one person. A woman if you can believe that. With boobs and everything. Though one time a guy (with very nice arms, mind you) did help her discover the Tom Brady / inner earth alien conspiracy because the woman with boobs doesn’t really follow football or sports of any kind.

Yet, she did look into it more and it seemed legit. Now though, she’s questioning if maybe the guy with very nice arms was distracting her with his nice arms in order to pull one over on her and Tom Brady isn’t an inner earth alien at all but just a dude-bro with ugly shoes.

Regardless of what is real and what is fake, what is a conspiracy theory and what is a factual theory. Regardless of whether this is a one-woman-two boob show or if there is an entire team of freaks and weirdos here, What the Conspiracy will always work to learn more and to tell you all about that it finds even if what it finds could damage its own image, name, brand. Because What the Conspiracy is here. And it’s all we, she, whomever really knows how to do.

Government Shutdown Was Distraction From TRUTH

Dreamers Are A Front to Real Alien Issues

-Washington D.C. United States, Earth

The recent 3-day United States government shutdown over the past weekend was not entirely based upon the Democrats desire for a solution to Daca–the program designed to help Dreamers, children brought illegally into to the United States who have lived in the country the majority of their lives, stay in the United States.

The truth of the matter is that it’s not about these illegal immigrants at all. The reason why it’s been so difficult for any administration to come up with a solution to border issues in the United States is that they are unsure of how to handle literal alien entry.

When government officials discuss aliens from other countries on Earth they often are using that as code for actual aliens from outer space (and inner earth core).

government_shutdown
Part of a Goverment Building, found in the United States, appeared to be unoccupied for at least over a decade now.

Think about it. What’s the big deal with regard to any person from any shithole country coming over here when inner earth aliens are trying to shove their way up onto human land and massive tall whites are trying to mind-control us into electing Illuminati-representatives like Donald Trump as a distraction device from the TRUTH?

What’s the TRUTH, you wonder?

Well, over here at What the Conspiracy we’ve been wondering that too. That’s why we created this site, to keep digging, to keep finding the answers to the hard questions no one has even thought to ask.

Maybe Mary at Yellowstone National Park just wanted to take Monday off and she orchestrated the entire shut-down. Or maybe the government shutdown because Trump and the rest of his political team couldn’t figure out how to tell the aliens, (aliens that have yet to be named), aliens that are more intense, more powerful, more corrupt than both the Tall Whites AND The Illuminati could ever be, to go away.

Or maybe it was a ruse to get the inner earth aliens through the secret door at the bottom of the Grand Canyon while no one was working.

inner_earth_aliens
Possible Entry / Exit for Inner Earth Aliens Found Near Grand Canyon, Arizona, USA, Earth

We’re still searching for the TRUTH, but it’s not as simple as the mainstream media makes it out to be.

Leave your comments below with TRUTH conspiracies you believe and/or any info you have on outer space /inner earth alien entry into the United States you may know about.

Don’t forget to follow What the Conspiracy on Facebook and Twitter to stay up-to-date on all the latest conspiracy theories and alien news.

Could the Secret to the Meaning of Life Exist Within Tide Pods?

Kid Approved:

Tide Pods Hold The Meaning of Life Within Their Plastic Shell

The recent uproar in the mainstream media regarding the latest teenage trend of eating Tide Pods, the individually-plastic-wrapped colorful candy-like looking laundry detergent, has some conspiracy theorists wondering if Tide-Pods actually contain the meaning of life.

The Tide Pod Challenge comes after a slew of other teenage rebellions including but not limited to the gallon challenge, the cinnamon challenge, the bath-salt challenge and the classic drinking-jungle-juice-from-a-bathtub challenge. All of which were just steps up the ladder to truly understanding the meaning of life.

tide_pods
Teenager attempting to discover the meaning of life at the laundromat, Seattle, Washington, U.S.A. Earth, 2018.

That is, many humans between the ages of 13 and 19 have a hard time wrapping their minds around the idea that death is a certainty– the Tide Pod Challenge helps them on their way toward enlightenment, aka recognizing their own mortality, aka seeing the other side, aka realizing that life is one big joke and it ends when they eat a piece of plastic containing not just soap, but what could only be construed as a chemical lab-made poison. That “fresh rain” smell, that “tropical ocean” smell, that’s not natural, that’s all made up by scientists who get paid a lot of money to make soap that is probably more likely to cause cancer than prevent it.

“When clothes come out of the laundry with that fresh smell all humans seem to enjoy, well, I made up that fresh smell,” says, Corporate Chemist, Connelly Dickson, 42, “The truth of the matter, grocery-store laundry detergent would cause damage and/or potentially kill any breathing creature that consumes even a small quantity of it.”

One conspiracy theorist think otherwise.

“Maybe the younger generation just gets it, you know?” says guy who still lives in his mom’s basement, Josh McGosh, 37, “maybe there’s something in these pods. We don’t really know until we try. The government and the mainstream media could be working in cahoots trying to keep us from eating them when really they exist to change our lives.”

Upon hearing McGosh’s claims, “No. Nope. Eating laundry detergent will indeed kill a person,” Dickson concludes. “So, yes, it will change a person’s life, in that they will no longer have one.”

Yet, what is death anyway? No one really truly knows. Perhaps people of Generation Z understand more about it than anyone else. Perhaps the other side is better than this one. They are growing up in the Trump era after all; who could really blame them for wanting to take this sort of exploratory leap? Life, money, time, non-edible tide pods, it’s all just social constructs anyway.

To report exposure to laundry detergent pods, call the national poison hotline at 1-800-222-1222 so you can go back to living a meaningless no-enlightened poison-free existence. Or text POISON to 797979 to save the number on your phone and get to it later.

Study Finds Tinder App Turning People Into Trash

Tinder App Designed to Turn Humans Into Trash?

Recent undercover agents have discovered that the popular dating app Tinder is actually not a dating app at all but a computer database designed to turn humans into digital-to-literal disposable commodities.

Tinder_WTC_1
Pitmon, 23, enjoying the first few days of her life on Tinder before drastically being transformed into a plastic water bottle.

Sally Pitmon, 23, a poli-sci graduate student coming out of a major break-up decided to “go for it,” and downloaded the Tinder app three days go. In just the first day she had already 50 matches.

“I don’t know,” Pitmon said, “I probably have swiped left on over 200 potential matches. I’m beginning to feel like these people aren’t even people anymore.”

Bryan Bode, 26, CPA, whom Pitmon swiped left on, and who has been on and off Tinder for two years, said this:

“I basically don’t even feel like a person anymore. It’s like I’m a plastic water bottle. You get me? I quench someone’s thirst and then I get thrown away.”

Tinder_Conspiracy
Bode, 26, contemplating if he’d rather jump into the eternal Mother Earth trashcan of life to then become a real-life ghost, or if he should return to quenching the thirst of thirsty women on Tinder, forever doomed to become a plastic water bottle of a man.

The undercover agents had this to say about their findings:

The brilliance of the dating app Tinder is its ability to utilize the positives and negatives of our capitalist system. We’ve narrowed it to 4 main components.

  1. Leverage people’s loneliness.  Make them feel like a connection to something real is just one message away.
  2. Design it so only superficialities can come through so no one gets attached or knows in advance they’re really wrong for the other person.
  3. Make it into a fun game! What’s more fun than scrolling through your phone imagining different people who could be the one (or the one for the night!).
  4. Create a sense of FOMO. Yes, a person could go out with another person who is funny, smart and hot, but make it feel like there is someone else out in the world who is funnier, smarter, hotter! The only way to truly know is to dismiss funny, smart, hot person (aka ghost them) and keep playing.

“That’s a bit extreme. I’m actually having a lot of fun!” Pitmon said after hearing the discoveries made by the undercover agents.

Bode, who happened to be in the same room as Pitmon and found out through one undercover agent’s slip of the tongue that Pitmon had indeed swiped left on him, rolled his eyes, “Says the new woman to Tinder. Just you wait.”

No comment on whether the tone of that “just you wait,” was menacing or not.

Needless to say, Bode will not be quenching Pitmon’s thirst.

And Tinder wins again.

 

Illegal Aliens Are Controlling Donald Trump

U.S. President Donald Trump’s Hair Issue

AKA Your Hair is Everywhere, Screaming Infidelities and Taking Its Wear

It may be at least four more years before a full global disclosure happens now that Donald Trump is in office. And the reason is right in front of our very eyes.

People around the world comment left and right,

“What is up with Donald Trump’s hair?”

Some say things like,

‘He’s rich, why doesn’t he get hair plugs or something?”

Others suggest he should,

“shave it all off.”

But, the truth of the matter is that his hair is actually not hair at all, his hair is an alien. That’s right, it is an illegal not-from-this-country, not even from this planet ALIEN and it’s not only controlling his brain, but it is now in charge of the entire United States of America, with direct repercussions to the earth AND universe, and even possibly the multi-verse.

To be clear, this alien is not just ONE alien but a colony of aliens and they are attempting what is called “the slow game.” The slow game is often something people in the dating world use as a method to win over their crush by taking their time to reveal how fabulous they are with small acts of daily kindness and flirtations, maybe the occasional sext (but never full nudity).

When it comes to aliens slow-gaming the earth it’s a bit different. Instead of just blasting the entire globe, their true goals are more aligned with removing the “cancer” aka “humans” from the land so that they can take over and claim this place as their own. By controlling the president of the United States of America, a leader amongst nations–or so the citizens are told to believe, this colony of aliens is embarking on their own subtle but effective alien-colonization of planet earth.

Do not be mistaken by Donald Trump’s hairs’ human-like qualities, those golden dry floppy strands are not of mammalian origin. Think of them as parasites. Alien parasites that are feeding on the evil, hate, and ignorance of human’s worst traits.

We must overcomb this.

This is a true illegal alien issue. It’s a nonconsensual take over of not only his body, but his brain. It’s a nonconsensual takeover of America. To put it bluntly, America is being raped by Donald Trump. Or more specifically, the alien colony trying to take over our planet by pretending to be Donald Trump’s hair.

Sure, it’s a fact that removing the alien colony would put an end to the current living Donald Trump figure, but the physical body is no longer controlled by a human spirit; the real Donald Trump has been dead for decades. Now, the aliens are after all of us.

Unless we’re capable of stopping these aliens we will all perish before there is even a full disclosure that aliens exist. We must end the aliens living on our own planet (aka Donald Trump’s hair). Then, once we have defeated them all we should build a giant dome around the earth to protect us from outside intruders, good or bad. Because we couldn’t possibly consent to things, people, aliens, we do not understand nor could we ever bother with taking the time to learn.

dtIf you look closely at this image you will find two alien eyes looking straight back at you.

How Fake is Fake News?

Are you getting duped on the daily?!

Exploring the world of the real fake news

There’s a lot of hoopla happening lately about the internet running rampant with fake news.

Facebook is supposedly going to start dividing fake news from the real news so people can tell the difference.

What’s real? What’s fake?!

Without the help of social media policing everything for us, how would we even know how to think for ourselves?!

But, we all need to take a moment to truly analyze our surrounding news situation. Could fake news stories actually be real and  “real” news stories actually be fake? What the conspiracy?!

Let’s examine some of the top “real” stories of 2016.

  • Prince “died” of an accidental drug overdose.
  • Trump will become “the next president” of the United States of America.
  • Kanye West was hospitalized because of “exhaustion” and Kim is “miserable” in their relationship and they’re going to get a “divorce”.
  • “Fake” news stories are “RUINING” the universe and everyone who exists in it.

Now, let’s take a look at some common “fake” news stories.

  • Prince William is a Lizard Nazi. When Prince Harry got in all that mess on Halloween a few years ago he was actually borrowing his brother’s uniform. There’s also speculation that Kate is part of the Tall Whites (she dyes her hair, people!) and their child is a hybrid Lizard Nazi Tall White.
  • Butt-loving Tina from Bob’s Burgers is actually a 40-year-old dude trapped in a tween girl’s body.
  • Big Foot is real and roaming around western Colorado looking for someone to start making larger sized shoes.

Those last three seem way more legit to me.

So, what’s the deal? Can we ever really know what the truth is? Or is it all just a bunch of fakeness? Unless we see it with out own two eyes can we know that it really happened? And even if we see it with our two eyes, how can we trust our own eyes?! What if it’s just our brains tricking us into thinking we see something that’s not actually there. Maybe our brains our conspiring against us just to help keep us alive longer. And why would our brains want us to be alive longer?! What’s even the point?!

just-jump-already

Just jump already.

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