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What The Conspiracy?!

The Real Fake News

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cloud industrial complex

Laurel or Yanny? Either Way, It’s a Trap!

Laurel.

Yanny.

It’s just a way to get into your brain, kids.

The crowds of people all over the internet are yet again fighting over something that seems rather trivial. This time around it is not the color of a dress (that dress was white and gold, you fuckers), but instead, the trivial debate is all about what a person hears.

In this short sound bite, a person can supposedly hear either the word Laurel or the word Yanny. People are getting real heated up about which is true.

The truth of the matter is that they are both true. Depending on your ears and your bass you will hear one or the other. That’s not the actual issue.

The issue is that anyone who listens to this sound bite immediately becomes brainwashed by the Cloud Industrial Complex or the Illuminati or the Lizard People.

We’re not quite sure which power group has control over this mind control but we KNOW it’s not just a bit of trivial internet buzz. This short sound bite could have major repercussions on our entire planet.

If you’ve listened to it, you’re already fucked. Soon your brain will start deteriorating and you will somehow find your way back to the internet where you will let everyone else know whether you heard Laurel or Yanny, as if anyone else gives a fuck.

If you heard Laurel, you’re fucked.

If you heard Yanny, you’re fucked.

Because guess what?!!? It was all just a set up to fuck you.

Congrats for being the millionth person to turn into yet another internet robot cyborg sheep zombie. You’re not part of the Cloud Industrial Complex Illuminati Lizard People, oh no, they’d never let you in. Nope, instead they are inside YOU and are controlling your every thought, move, desire, need, want, etc.

It’s okay in a way, because now you can blame all of your actions and mistakes on the Cloud Industrial Complex Illuminati Lizard People. They’ll never forgive you like Jesus would though, just remember that. Amen.

What the Conspiracy?! Is THE Conspiracy

 

Conspiracy! What is real, for real though?

Could this website, What the Conspiracy?!, a website dedicated to exposing the TRUTH about our society and all of the FAKE NEWS in it, actually be THE FAKE NEWS?

In a recent turn of events the founder of What the Conspiracy is seriously starting to question if all of the thoughts, research, and discoveries on this website have actually just been made up the entire time.

Even though there have been hours upon hours of investigations and brain power that has gone into the discovery of such things like The Cloud Industrial Complex (which we are no longer allowed to discuss), political conspiracy theories like the government shut down just existing as a distraction from the truth and United States of America current President Donald Trump’s hair actually being an alien all on its own, as well as holiday conspiracy theories such as Valentine’s Day being an invention of Big Pharma, no one here is really sure anymore what’s real and what’s not real.

What is real? What the Conspiracy knows that conspiracies are really just opinions that have not been made popular yet.

The Flat Earthers are popular enough by this point to make everyone else suggest they all go walk off the edge of it. The Illuminati is popular enough that Google always knows when we spell it wrong and automatically corrects it. It’s probably the Illuminati that runs google anyway. That’s a conspiracy theory that the staff at What the Conspiracy has yet to look into, but probably should. Except, the staff at What the Conspiracy is going through a sort of existential crisis and no one here knows who they are anymore.

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Could the staff at What the Conspiracy have been brainwashed by some sort of powerful alien species? Perhaps these aliens came in and whispered “self-doubt” into the What the Conspiracy staff members ears and now everyone here is confused and can’t tell the TRUTH from the LIES.

We have already had our run-ins with conspiracy theory issues in the past. Like the time when the founder of What the Conspiracy was abducted for almost an entire year by members of the Cloud Industrial Complex and thrown into that tornado only to make it out with a warning never to discuss the true facts about the clouds, the water, the ice and everything connected to it all ever again.

We’re technically not even supposed to write “The Cloud Industrial Complex,” on this website anymore, but since we’re not actually writing about what they do and we’re not even saying they exist (even though they clearly do, considering) and we really are just writing the words, ‘The Cloud Industrial Complex,’ we really do not think anyone at What the Conspiracy will get hurt again.

Unless this is all just a set up by whichever alien species came into our office and brainwashed us into writing this article about What the Conspiracy not even being real.

The truth of the matter is that there is no ‘office,’ and the ‘we’ that ‘we’ always speak of here at What the Conspiracy is just one person. A woman if you can believe that. With boobs and everything. Though one time a guy (with very nice arms, mind you) did help her discover the Tom Brady / inner earth alien conspiracy because the woman with boobs doesn’t really follow football or sports of any kind.

Yet, she did look into it more and it seemed legit. Now though, she’s questioning if maybe the guy with very nice arms was distracting her with his nice arms in order to pull one over on her and Tom Brady isn’t an inner earth alien at all but just a dude-bro with ugly shoes.

Regardless of what is real and what is fake, what is a conspiracy theory and what is a factual theory. Regardless of whether this is a one-woman-two boob show or if there is an entire team of freaks and weirdos here, What the Conspiracy will always work to learn more and to tell you all about that it finds even if what it finds could damage its own image, name, brand. Because What the Conspiracy is here. And it’s all we, she, whomever really knows how to do.

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