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What The Conspiracy?!

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What the Conspiracy?! Is THE Conspiracy

 

Conspiracy! What is real, for real though?

Could this website, What the Conspiracy?!, a website dedicated to exposing the TRUTH about our society and all of the FAKE NEWS in it, actually be THE FAKE NEWS?

In a recent turn of events the founder of What the Conspiracy is seriously starting to question if all of the thoughts, research, and discoveries on this website have actually just been made up the entire time.

Even though there have been hours upon hours of investigations and brain power that has gone into the discovery of such things like The Cloud Industrial Complex (which we are no longer allowed to discuss), political conspiracy theories like the government shut down just existing as a distraction from the truth and United States of America current President Donald Trump’s hair actually being an alien all on its own, as well as holiday conspiracy theories such as Valentine’s Day being an invention of Big Pharma, no one here is really sure anymore what’s real and what’s not real.

What is real? What the Conspiracy knows that conspiracies are really just opinions that have not been made popular yet.

The Flat Earthers are popular enough by this point to make everyone else suggest they all go walk off the edge of it. The Illuminati is popular enough that Google always knows when we spell it wrong and automatically corrects it. It’s probably the Illuminati that runs google anyway. That’s a conspiracy theory that the staff at What the Conspiracy has yet to look into, but probably should. Except, the staff at What the Conspiracy is going through a sort of existential crisis and no one here knows who they are anymore.

what_the_conspiracy33

Could the staff at What the Conspiracy have been brainwashed by some sort of powerful alien species? Perhaps these aliens came in and whispered “self-doubt” into the What the Conspiracy staff members ears and now everyone here is confused and can’t tell the TRUTH from the LIES.

We have already had our run-ins with conspiracy theory issues in the past. Like the time when the founder of What the Conspiracy was abducted for almost an entire year by members of the Cloud Industrial Complex and thrown into that tornado only to make it out with a warning never to discuss the true facts about the clouds, the water, the ice and everything connected to it all ever again.

We’re technically not even supposed to write “The Cloud Industrial Complex,” on this website anymore, but since we’re not actually writing about what they do and we’re not even saying they exist (even though they clearly do, considering) and we really are just writing the words, ‘The Cloud Industrial Complex,’ we really do not think anyone at What the Conspiracy will get hurt again.

Unless this is all just a set up by whichever alien species came into our office and brainwashed us into writing this article about What the Conspiracy not even being real.

The truth of the matter is that there is no ‘office,’ and the ‘we’ that ‘we’ always speak of here at What the Conspiracy is just one person. A woman if you can believe that. With boobs and everything. Though one time a guy (with very nice arms, mind you) did help her discover the Tom Brady / inner earth alien conspiracy because the woman with boobs doesn’t really follow football or sports of any kind.

Yet, she did look into it more and it seemed legit. Now though, she’s questioning if maybe the guy with very nice arms was distracting her with his nice arms in order to pull one over on her and Tom Brady isn’t an inner earth alien at all but just a dude-bro with ugly shoes.

Regardless of what is real and what is fake, what is a conspiracy theory and what is a factual theory. Regardless of whether this is a one-woman-two boob show or if there is an entire team of freaks and weirdos here, What the Conspiracy will always work to learn more and to tell you all about that it finds even if what it finds could damage its own image, name, brand. Because What the Conspiracy is here. And it’s all we, she, whomever really knows how to do.

Government Shutdown Was Distraction From TRUTH

Dreamers Are A Front to Real Alien Issues

-Washington D.C. United States, Earth

The recent 3-day United States government shutdown over the past weekend was not entirely based upon the Democrats desire for a solution to Daca–the program designed to help Dreamers, children brought illegally into to the United States who have lived in the country the majority of their lives, stay in the United States.

The truth of the matter is that it’s not about these illegal immigrants at all. The reason why it’s been so difficult for any administration to come up with a solution to border issues in the United States is that they are unsure of how to handle literal alien entry.

When government officials discuss aliens from other countries on Earth they often are using that as code for actual aliens from outer space (and inner earth core).

government_shutdown
Part of a Goverment Building, found in the United States, appeared to be unoccupied for at least over a decade now.

Think about it. What’s the big deal with regard to any person from any shithole country coming over here when inner earth aliens are trying to shove their way up onto human land and massive tall whites are trying to mind-control us into electing Illuminati-representatives like Donald Trump as a distraction device from the TRUTH?

What’s the TRUTH, you wonder?

Well, over here at What the Conspiracy we’ve been wondering that too. That’s why we created this site, to keep digging, to keep finding the answers to the hard questions no one has even thought to ask.

Maybe Mary at Yellowstone National Park just wanted to take Monday off and she orchestrated the entire shut-down. Or maybe the government shutdown because Trump and the rest of his political team couldn’t figure out how to tell the aliens, (aliens that have yet to be named), aliens that are more intense, more powerful, more corrupt than both the Tall Whites AND The Illuminati could ever be, to go away.

Or maybe it was a ruse to get the inner earth aliens through the secret door at the bottom of the Grand Canyon while no one was working.

inner_earth_aliens
Possible Entry / Exit for Inner Earth Aliens Found Near Grand Canyon, Arizona, USA, Earth

We’re still searching for the TRUTH, but it’s not as simple as the mainstream media makes it out to be.

Leave your comments below with TRUTH conspiracies you believe and/or any info you have on outer space /inner earth alien entry into the United States you may know about.

Don’t forget to follow What the Conspiracy on Facebook and Twitter to stay up-to-date on all the latest conspiracy theories and alien news.

Could the Secret to the Meaning of Life Exist Within Tide Pods?

Kid Approved:

Tide Pods Hold The Meaning of Life Within Their Plastic Shell

The recent uproar in the mainstream media regarding the latest teenage trend of eating Tide Pods, the individually-plastic-wrapped colorful candy-like looking laundry detergent, has some conspiracy theorists wondering if Tide-Pods actually contain the meaning of life.

The Tide Pod Challenge comes after a slew of other teenage rebellions including but not limited to the gallon challenge, the cinnamon challenge, the bath-salt challenge and the classic drinking-jungle-juice-from-a-bathtub challenge. All of which were just steps up the ladder to truly understanding the meaning of life.

tide_pods
Teenager attempting to discover the meaning of life at the laundromat, Seattle, Washington, U.S.A. Earth, 2018.

That is, many humans between the ages of 13 and 19 have a hard time wrapping their minds around the idea that death is a certainty– the Tide Pod Challenge helps them on their way toward enlightenment, aka recognizing their own mortality, aka seeing the other side, aka realizing that life is one big joke and it ends when they eat a piece of plastic containing not just soap, but what could only be construed as a chemical lab-made poison. That “fresh rain” smell, that “tropical ocean” smell, that’s not natural, that’s all made up by scientists who get paid a lot of money to make soap that is probably more likely to cause cancer than prevent it.

“When clothes come out of the laundry with that fresh smell all humans seem to enjoy, well, I made up that fresh smell,” says, Corporate Chemist, Connelly Dickson, 42, “The truth of the matter, grocery-store laundry detergent would cause damage and/or potentially kill any breathing creature that consumes even a small quantity of it.”

One conspiracy theorist think otherwise.

“Maybe the younger generation just gets it, you know?” says guy who still lives in his mom’s basement, Josh McGosh, 37, “maybe there’s something in these pods. We don’t really know until we try. The government and the mainstream media could be working in cahoots trying to keep us from eating them when really they exist to change our lives.”

Upon hearing McGosh’s claims, “No. Nope. Eating laundry detergent will indeed kill a person,” Dickson concludes. “So, yes, it will change a person’s life, in that they will no longer have one.”

Yet, what is death anyway? No one really truly knows. Perhaps people of Generation Z understand more about it than anyone else. Perhaps the other side is better than this one. They are growing up in the Trump era after all; who could really blame them for wanting to take this sort of exploratory leap? Life, money, time, non-edible tide pods, it’s all just social constructs anyway.

To report exposure to laundry detergent pods, call the national poison hotline at 1-800-222-1222 so you can go back to living a meaningless no-enlightened poison-free existence. Or text POISON to 797979 to save the number on your phone and get to it later.

Study Finds Tinder App Turning People Into Trash

Tinder App Designed to Turn Humans Into Trash?

Recent undercover agents have discovered that the popular dating app Tinder is actually not a dating app at all but a computer database designed to turn humans into digital-to-literal disposable commodities.

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Pitmon, 23, enjoying the first few days of her life on Tinder before drastically being transformed into a plastic water bottle.

Sally Pitmon, 23, a poli-sci graduate student coming out of a major break-up decided to “go for it,” and downloaded the Tinder app three days go. In just the first day she had already 50 matches.

“I don’t know,” Pitmon said, “I probably have swiped left on over 200 potential matches. I’m beginning to feel like these people aren’t even people anymore.”

Bryan Bode, 26, CPA, whom Pitmon swiped left on, and who has been on and off Tinder for two years, said this:

“I basically don’t even feel like a person anymore. It’s like I’m a plastic water bottle. You get me? I quench someone’s thirst and then I get thrown away.”

Tinder_Conspiracy
Bode, 26, contemplating if he’d rather jump into the eternal Mother Earth trashcan of life to then become a real-life ghost, or if he should return to quenching the thirst of thirsty women on Tinder, forever doomed to become a plastic water bottle of a man.

The undercover agents had this to say about their findings:

The brilliance of the dating app Tinder is its ability to utilize the positives and negatives of our capitalist system. We’ve narrowed it to 4 main components.

  1. Leverage people’s loneliness.  Make them feel like a connection to something real is just one message away.
  2. Design it so only superficialities can come through so no one gets attached or knows in advance they’re really wrong for the other person.
  3. Make it into a fun game! What’s more fun than scrolling through your phone imagining different people who could be the one (or the one for the night!).
  4. Create a sense of FOMO. Yes, a person could go out with another person who is funny, smart and hot, but make it feel like there is someone else out in the world who is funnier, smarter, hotter! The only way to truly know is to dismiss funny, smart, hot person (aka ghost them) and keep playing.

“That’s a bit extreme. I’m actually having a lot of fun!” Pitmon said after hearing the discoveries made by the undercover agents.

Bode, who happened to be in the same room as Pitmon and found out through one undercover agent’s slip of the tongue that Pitmon had indeed swiped left on him, rolled his eyes, “Says the new woman to Tinder. Just you wait.”

No comment on whether the tone of that “just you wait,” was menacing or not.

Needless to say, Bode will not be quenching Pitmon’s thirst.

And Tinder wins again.

 

According to Latest Polls: 48% of Human Voters in Alabama Actually of Alien Origin

Alabama, Aliens, Roy Moore, and Our Last Hope for Humanity

The recent senate race in Alabama between Republican Roy Moore and Democrat Doug Jones reveals that at least 48%* of the supposed human life forms in this state are actually not of human origin.

Theories have been discussed for decades regarding a possible alien invasion in the state of Alabama. Besides the nearly constant reports of UFO sightings in the area, theorists believe that due to the Alabamians love for greasy foodstuff, anal sex, and faux Christian-like behaviors, that a majority of the humans in the heart of Dixie have been infiltrated to completion–bodies, minds, and spirits– and taken over by creatures not of this Earth.

It’s believed that these life forms are Bambeedles from Ala-Ala Island on planet Grossconian–two galaxies away from Earth.

The Bamdeedles look like fat turkey-walrus hybrids but can shapeshift into human form easily due to their development of a substance called Bitterbutterbee, which is also used to cure one of the Bamdeedles most prominent diseases, a type of hemorrhoids that occur often due to their love of greasy foodstuff and their over-indulgence in anal sex. (They also have three anuses, but that is an irrelevant piece of information.)

The Bamdeedles are a male-dominated society; Earthlings would consider the Bamdeedles pedophiles as the males are known to begin sexual relations the females of their culture when they are as young as six.

It’s well known that the male Bamdeedles from Ala-Ala Island use and abuse the females as if they are property and not of the same equal status, even though the females are known to be of higher intelligence. The females have worked for centuries to overcome the power imbalance, but are often raped and/or murdered before being able to make any strides toward equality. All females are killed after the birth of their second offspring or by the time they reach 24–regardless.

Decades ago it was discovered that several intelligent Bamdeedles females were recruited by their male counterparts to invent a way to travel through space and time. One theory suggests that they made it as far as Earth, Alabama to be exact, where the males from Ala-Ala Island killed their fellow female space travelers and were then stuck on Earth because of their inability to figure out how to drive their ship back (or even how to turn the damn ship back on).

Of course, the Bamdeedles who were left on planet Earth, right in the state that is called Alabama, didn’t know what else to do, so they shapeshifted into human beings and started eating all the greasy foodstuff and having anal sex with pretty much any living creature they came in contact with.

Aliens in Alabama
The potential site in Alabama where the Bamdeedles first landed.

It’s been decades since the invasion and theories suggest that at least half of the population of this state is actually of Bamdeedle origin and this is why voting for a politician like Roy Moore was actually an easy-peasy choice.

It could even be that Republican Roy Moore is a Bamdeedle himself, which would explain away the allegations of sexual misconduct, which to any sane human is completely and totally unacceptable, but to the Bamdeedles is just their way of life. It would also explain why he thinks his male superiority should allow him to have power over an entire state even though he doesn’t really know anything and even though he treats a large majority of the population of earth creatures with hatred and disdain.

There is one hope though, other conspiracy theorists think that Earth horses are actually equinoid aliens and that Sassy, the horse Roy Moore rode into town on in order to vote, will soon overtake his place in politics and work to restore order in the state of Alabama.

It is unclear how to stop the spread of Bamdeedles through the state of Alabama, and it’s true they may have already begun to infest other states in the region, but a small community of people have been discussing possible options for their destruction.

All we can do now is hope that Sassy and her herd of badass equinoids will come to our rescue and restore the humanity of Alabama–and of our dear planet Earth.

*Numbers are currently updating vote by vote

What the Evidence: Tiny UFO FOUND In Denver

Tiny UFO Comes to Denver

Wrecked Unidentified Flying Object

Date: December 2017
Location: 26th & Ogden
Contents: Unknown

UFO3Glob

Denver, CO.

Recently discovered in the heart of Five Points, Denver, Colorado, Earth, proof that tiny aliens exist.

A tiny UFO, aka a small spacecraft was uncovered on site at Lenore B. Quick Park at the intersection of 26th and Ogden on December 8, 2017.

Measuring eleven centimeters across made of what appears to be a type of plastic material (compound analysis currently underway), a square hole with an X sits in the middle of the UFO, potentially how aliens entered and exited the spacecraft or it is designed for better aerodynamics. Three convex plastic bubbles are arranged four centimeters apart from each other. Could also be an aerodynamic design element or a cultural marking of sorts. Ridged outer layer.

UFO1GlobsUnclear whether device flies with edges up, down, or both.

The found object appears to be damaged beyond repair.

No sign of intelligent life on or near discovery.

Trace amounts of orange sticky liquid remain. Could indicate fuel leak, explosion, or biological residue (further analysis underway).

Unwarranted opinion:

Spacecraft could potentially belong to the Squiby Mantis Ants sect or the Red Glugs. Motivation for travel to Earth currently unclear. The Squiby Mantis Ants are said to be quaint, harmless, and fun, unlike the Red Glugs, which are known for planting devastating bacterias on planets and ruining the land and water essentially killing every living thing on in and under the surface. The Red Glugs do this in order to take over the planet themselves as the entire species are sex addicts who multiply by the millions every day and are constantly in search of new places to take over (when they are not fucking each other that is).

Let us hope we have found an SMA UFO or else planet Earth is doomed.

 

UFO2GLugs
Tiny UFO near Lenore B. Quick Park, Denver.

Time, It’s Not On Your Side.

Time.

It’s not on your side.

Or mine.

It’s been almost a year since my last blog and it’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s that I couldn’t. Turns out that the Cloud Industrial Complex got wind of my theories involving their hold on our society and decided to try to blow me over. I was held captive in the eye of a tornado for several months, only eating and drinking the things I could catch flying by. It swept me almost all the way across the United States dropping me off on top of the Appalachian mountains where I had to hike through multiple climates and terrains just to make it back into civilization.

Once I returned, a gray cloud appeared and started following me everywhere I went.

Anytime I would get online it would send a lightning bolt through my electric outlets and shut off my power before I could post anything that was happening to me.

The thing about air is it’s everywhere and the air and the clouds are like BFFs. I had to convince the air that I would only say good things about it, like how it helps us breathe etc. which it does. The air is great. Air is one of my favorite things. Air keeps us alive.

No, I haven’t been bought out. Or have I? It’s hard to tell anymore.
The thing about time is that even though I’ve been away for a year, I can pick back right where I left off and no one will be the wiser. Mostly because no one has fallen onto this website yet and thus has no idea what’s actually going on in our world.

But I know because of how time works that if I wait long enough everything will unravel just as it should. And if it doesn’t it won’t matter because eventually time will kill me, and you, and everyone we know. It’s honestly more dangerous than the Cloud Industrial Complex.

I’ll fill you in as it tick-tocks forward; in the meantime, be aware, time doesn’t move in a straight line like we were taught to believe, it’s all around us, forward, backward, upside down.

Stay-tuned.

I’m back for good and ready to fill you in on all that’s really happening out there from the air, to the clouds, to the sand in the hourglass.

Windshield Wiper Sadists

Windshield wiper manufacturers into extreme BDSM?

More from the Cloud Industrial Complex

After my first video came out regarding the Cloud Industrial Complex I was contacted by a person who prefers to remain anonymous. This person has confirmed that windshield wiper manufacturers do indeed design the driver’s side wiper to have a slight malfunction in order to smear right in front of the driver’s line of vision.

This anonymous source said:

Of course there’s the profit increase the companies gain, but the main motivation behind this gross and disturbing malfunction is that the people in charge are all sadists.

My source continued to explain that these sadists get their pleasure by inflicting frustration, irritation, and anxiety onto others. And most of all, they enjoy making the roads less safe for travelers.

Though my source was pretty nervous about coming to me with this information, the source, like so many of us drivers is tired of the smudges and wants them to stop.

The Cloud Industrial Complex is so large and complicated, but if we slowly disclose this information we can surely be free from what binds us to this earth.

These clouds want to keep raining down on us, it is big business for them after all. Plus, they get to take up all that real estate in the sky.

But, we should ask ourselves, do they really deserve to?

These sadists should not be allowed to work on any part of a vehicle and yet the Cloud Industrial Complex hires these windshield wiper sociopaths specifically to torture humanity in just a slightly irritating yet totally dangerous way.

Sure, not every person at the windshield wiper factory is a monster or even a sadist, but they only need ONE to cause this smear malfunction on all of the windshield wipers. One adjustment to the design mold and everything changes. The windshield goes from clear brilliant glass to smudged white streaks right in front of the driver’s line of sight. We will not even get into the type of pleasure these sadists experience when a bug smashes into the glass and parts of its completely wrecked body oozes out all over the windshield (we’ll only say it’s the type of pleasure one might feel while rolling on E and also having an intense full-body orgasm at the same time).

Nevertheless, there is very little any of us can do about these windshield wiper sadists. We can’t very well boycott windshield wipers. We still have places to go when it rains, which the Cloud Industrial Complex certainly is aware of. This is one reason why water gushes from the sky at often the most inconvenient of times, like at weddings and funerals, and the one day you get off work and try to go to the amusement park. The Cloud Industrial Complex gets off from your misery. Just like the windshield wiper sadists get off on your lack of visibility while driving in the rain.

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