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What The Conspiracy?!

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What the Conspiracy?! Is THE Conspiracy

 

Conspiracy! What is real, for real though?

Could this website, What the Conspiracy?!, a website dedicated to exposing the TRUTH about our society and all of the FAKE NEWS in it, actually be THE FAKE NEWS?

In a recent turn of events the founder of What the Conspiracy is seriously starting to question if all of the thoughts, research, and discoveries on this website have actually just been made up the entire time.

Even though there have been hours upon hours of investigations and brain power that has gone into the discovery of such things like The Cloud Industrial Complex (which we are no longer allowed to discuss), political conspiracy theories like the government shut down just existing as a distraction from the truth and United States of America current President Donald Trump’s hair actually being an alien all on its own, as well as holiday conspiracy theories such as Valentine’s Day being an invention of Big Pharma, no one here is really sure anymore what’s real and what’s not real.

What is real? What the Conspiracy knows that conspiracies are really just opinions that have not been made popular yet.

The Flat Earthers are popular enough by this point to make everyone else suggest they all go walk off the edge of it. The Illuminati is popular enough that Google always knows when we spell it wrong and automatically corrects it. It’s probably the Illuminati that runs google anyway. That’s a conspiracy theory that the staff at What the Conspiracy has yet to look into, but probably should. Except, the staff at What the Conspiracy is going through a sort of existential crisis and no one here knows who they are anymore.

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Could the staff at What the Conspiracy have been brainwashed by some sort of powerful alien species? Perhaps these aliens came in and whispered “self-doubt” into the What the Conspiracy staff members ears and now everyone here is confused and can’t tell the TRUTH from the LIES.

We have already had our run-ins with conspiracy theory issues in the past. Like the time when the founder of What the Conspiracy was abducted for almost an entire year by members of the Cloud Industrial Complex and thrown into that tornado only to make it out with a warning never to discuss the true facts about the clouds, the water, the ice and everything connected to it all ever again.

We’re technically not even supposed to write “The Cloud Industrial Complex,” on this website anymore, but since we’re not actually writing about what they do and we’re not even saying they exist (even though they clearly do, considering) and we really are just writing the words, ‘The Cloud Industrial Complex,’ we really do not think anyone at What the Conspiracy will get hurt again.

Unless this is all just a set up by whichever alien species came into our office and brainwashed us into writing this article about What the Conspiracy not even being real.

The truth of the matter is that there is no ‘office,’ and the ‘we’ that ‘we’ always speak of here at What the Conspiracy is just one person. A woman if you can believe that. With boobs and everything. Though one time a guy (with very nice arms, mind you) did help her discover the Tom Brady / inner earth alien conspiracy because the woman with boobs doesn’t really follow football or sports of any kind.

Yet, she did look into it more and it seemed legit. Now though, she’s questioning if maybe the guy with very nice arms was distracting her with his nice arms in order to pull one over on her and Tom Brady isn’t an inner earth alien at all but just a dude-bro with ugly shoes.

Regardless of what is real and what is fake, what is a conspiracy theory and what is a factual theory. Regardless of whether this is a one-woman-two boob show or if there is an entire team of freaks and weirdos here, What the Conspiracy will always work to learn more and to tell you all about that it finds even if what it finds could damage its own image, name, brand. Because What the Conspiracy is here. And it’s all we, she, whomever really knows how to do.

Breaking News: Tom Brady Outed As An Inner Earth Alien, Kneeler, and Spokesperson for Uggs

Could Tom Brady aka the Offical Ugg Spokesman Be an Inner Earth Alien?

As you’ve seen in recent news, the U.S. government shut down for three days in an attempt to cover up more truth. On top of that, President Trump appears to be leading the United States of America into a very ugly war over nuclear war button sizes with North Korea.

But, we shouldn’t let any of that distract us from the real threat facing our country: the Patriots are back to compete in the Big Game.

The big game being the biggest Big Game of American football. It is also the second biggest capitalist celebration of indulgence and consumerism after Christmas. And of course, the day that finally every person in the U.S. falls off their new year’s resolutions 100%.

At first glance, the Patriots entering the Big Game for the eighth time since 2001 might seem inconsequential. That is when one compares it to nuclear war and the collapse of the entire United States government, but if it was inconsequential then why would President Trump spend so much time tweeting about it?

The answer is obvious to anyone paying attention.

The NFL has clearly been infiltrated by inner earth aliens led by none other than Patriots quarterback and five-time Big Game champion, Uggs spokesperson, pretty boy, Gisele-husband, guy-every-straight-guy would-even-sleep-with, Tom Brady.

And because U.S. President Donald Trump is actually a reptilian shapeshifter Illuminati member, and the Illuminati and inner earth aliens haven’t gotten along ever since Illuminati reptilian President Nixon made the mistake of saying there was a “war on drugs,” causing the inner earth aliens to lose billions of dollars in their throughthecrustoftheearth drug sales (mainly quaaludes and mescaline) trade, the two forces have been spatting back and forth with each other right in front of all of our eyes ever since.

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The Inner Earth Aliens have been dissatisfied with their position as lower class citizens, being forced to live literally inside the earth without access to education opportunities, Billy Joel concerts, or proper nutrition.

Despite all of the disadvantages some inner earth aliens have escaped their underground hell hole and somehow made it into the NFL. These inner earth aliens show their solidarity with their inner earth comrades who are still underground by kneeling during the Earth anthem that plays before all the big games.

This kneeling action is a direct challenge to the authority of the surface world, and a call to arms for inner earth aliens.

As a member of the Illuminati and enemy of inner earth aliens, President Trump became quickly aware of this secret inner earth alien message back at the beginning of the football season and has responded accordingly.

Why else would he care so much about a seemingly meaningless gesture carried out by grown men playing a game that consists of wearing super tight pants and trying to get a big brown ball through a narrow end zone?

Of course, the leader of the inner earth aliens is none other than Tom Brady, who managed to rise through the ranks of the NFL quarterbacks with the help of his Beli-bot, capable of calculating outcomes and making decisions without human emotions interfering. Also, he cheats and lets the air out of footballs sometimes.

Brady’s ultimate plan is clear; convince the country to wear uggs so that they can’t detect the inner earth alien landspaceships coming up through the surface until it’s too late. If the Patriots win the Big Game this year, he may sell enough uggs to put his plan into action.

Our only hope is that the Illuminati are able to prevent these illegal aliens from kneeling and quell the uprising of inner earth aliens. But what can we as citizens do to help?

The answer is obvious. Don’t be distracted by things like the government shutting down or the president colluding with Russia to cheat in an election, and focus on anthem kneeling, the Big Game, and buying yourself a new pair of Uggs.

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