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What The Conspiracy?!

The Real Fake News

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What the Conspiracy?! Is THE Conspiracy

 

Conspiracy! What is real, for real though?

Could this website, What the Conspiracy?!, a website dedicated to exposing the TRUTH about our society and all of the FAKE NEWS in it, actually be THE FAKE NEWS?

In a recent turn of events the founder of What the Conspiracy is seriously starting to question if all of the thoughts, research, and discoveries on this website have actually just been made up the entire time.

Even though there have been hours upon hours of investigations and brain power that has gone into the discovery of such things like The Cloud Industrial Complex (which we are no longer allowed to discuss), political conspiracy theories like the government shut down just existing as a distraction from the truth and United States of America current President Donald Trump’s hair actually being an alien all on its own, as well as holiday conspiracy theories such as Valentine’s Day being an invention of Big Pharma, no one here is really sure anymore what’s real and what’s not real.

What is real? What the Conspiracy knows that conspiracies are really just opinions that have not been made popular yet.

The Flat Earthers are popular enough by this point to make everyone else suggest they all go walk off the edge of it. The Illuminati is popular enough that Google always knows when we spell it wrong and automatically corrects it. It’s probably the Illuminati that runs google anyway. That’s a conspiracy theory that the staff at What the Conspiracy has yet to look into, but probably should. Except, the staff at What the Conspiracy is going through a sort of existential crisis and no one here knows who they are anymore.

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Could the staff at What the Conspiracy have been brainwashed by some sort of powerful alien species? Perhaps these aliens came in and whispered “self-doubt” into the What the Conspiracy staff members ears and now everyone here is confused and can’t tell the TRUTH from the LIES.

We have already had our run-ins with conspiracy theory issues in the past. Like the time when the founder of What the Conspiracy was abducted for almost an entire year by members of the Cloud Industrial Complex and thrown into that tornado only to make it out with a warning never to discuss the true facts about the clouds, the water, the ice and everything connected to it all ever again.

We’re technically not even supposed to write “The Cloud Industrial Complex,” on this website anymore, but since we’re not actually writing about what they do and we’re not even saying they exist (even though they clearly do, considering) and we really are just writing the words, ‘The Cloud Industrial Complex,’ we really do not think anyone at What the Conspiracy will get hurt again.

Unless this is all just a set up by whichever alien species came into our office and brainwashed us into writing this article about What the Conspiracy not even being real.

The truth of the matter is that there is no ‘office,’ and the ‘we’ that ‘we’ always speak of here at What the Conspiracy is just one person. A woman if you can believe that. With boobs and everything. Though one time a guy (with very nice arms, mind you) did help her discover the Tom Brady / inner earth alien conspiracy because the woman with boobs doesn’t really follow football or sports of any kind.

Yet, she did look into it more and it seemed legit. Now though, she’s questioning if maybe the guy with very nice arms was distracting her with his nice arms in order to pull one over on her and Tom Brady isn’t an inner earth alien at all but just a dude-bro with ugly shoes.

Regardless of what is real and what is fake, what is a conspiracy theory and what is a factual theory. Regardless of whether this is a one-woman-two boob show or if there is an entire team of freaks and weirdos here, What the Conspiracy will always work to learn more and to tell you all about that it finds even if what it finds could damage its own image, name, brand. Because What the Conspiracy is here. And it’s all we, she, whomever really knows how to do.

How Fake is Fake News?

Are you getting duped on the daily?!

Exploring the world of the real fake news

There’s a lot of hoopla happening lately about the internet running rampant with fake news.

Facebook is supposedly going to start dividing fake news from the real news so people can tell the difference.

What’s real? What’s fake?!

Without the help of social media policing everything for us, how would we even know how to think for ourselves?!

But, we all need to take a moment to truly analyze our surrounding news situation. Could fake news stories actually be real and  “real” news stories actually be fake? What the conspiracy?!

Let’s examine some of the top “real” stories of 2016.

  • Prince “died” of an accidental drug overdose.
  • Trump will become “the next president” of the United States of America.
  • Kanye West was hospitalized because of “exhaustion” and Kim is “miserable” in their relationship and they’re going to get a “divorce”.
  • “Fake” news stories are “RUINING” the universe and everyone who exists in it.

Now, let’s take a look at some common “fake” news stories.

  • Prince William is a Lizard Nazi. When Prince Harry got in all that mess on Halloween a few years ago he was actually borrowing his brother’s uniform. There’s also speculation that Kate is part of the Tall Whites (she dyes her hair, people!) and their child is a hybrid Lizard Nazi Tall White.
  • Butt-loving Tina from Bob’s Burgers is actually a 40-year-old dude trapped in a tween girl’s body.
  • Big Foot is real and roaming around western Colorado looking for someone to start making larger sized shoes.

Those last three seem way more legit to me.

So, what’s the deal? Can we ever really know what the truth is? Or is it all just a bunch of fakeness? Unless we see it with out own two eyes can we know that it really happened? And even if we see it with our two eyes, how can we trust our own eyes?! What if it’s just our brains tricking us into thinking we see something that’s not actually there. Maybe our brains our conspiring against us just to help keep us alive longer. And why would our brains want us to be alive longer?! What’s even the point?!

just-jump-already

Just jump already.

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